Yeah I’m free…free-lancing!
- Footwork Dance Studio ATS class
I’ve been writing up a storm outside of this blog, and I want to share it with you! I figured the best way to get my free-lance writing to you is to put it here, all together. What can I say—I like to make things easy for my friends.
I walked into Footwork Dance Studio last week and was greeted by a rustle of gypsy skirts, elaborate belts with mirrors sewn onto them, large yarn tassels, conch shells, beads in every color of the rainbow, and a lot of smiles. Footwork Studio hosts many types of classes: ballet, tap, jazz, ballroom, and American Tribal belly dance. I had come to observe the belly dance class. The teacher, Sherrie Janz, has a dancer’s grace and beautiful wild curly hair, which I think perfectly complements her style. She started taking tap and jazz when she was very young, but learning (and falling in love with) belly dance didn’t come until much later. When the previous instructor at Footwork moved on, Sherrie began teaching youth and adult belly dance in her place. She describes her class as “Tribaret” style—a mix of Tribal and Cabaret belly dance—but her roots are firmly in Tribal dance. American Tribal Style belly dance (ATS) itself is a hybrid. It was created in the United States, and mixes traditional Middle Eastern belly dance, earthy folkloric dances from several countries, and even some moves from the more classic dances like ballet and jazz. The movements are snakelike and deliberate, and the costumes are rich in hue.
To begin class, Sherrie led her students through a deep stretching warm-up with invigorating ethnic music, filled with large hip circles, snake arms, and head slides. This was followed by a review of choreography the ladies had performed earlier in the year—and where the departure from traditional belly dance was really apparent. They danced to Lady Gaga’s Bad Romance. I was curious to see how this would go. It was definitely not what I think of when I picture belly dance, but it was beautiful and incredibly creative. She also covered a few movement drills, calling out the names of each movement while giving out costume advice at the same time. From the shy girl in the corner trying to slide out of my view, to the confident teenager who stood up front and showed me her best shimmy, every woman in class was smiling, whether it was demure or ear-to-ear. Self-conscious giggles could be heard around the room as I wrote my notes.
Sherrie asserted that she emphasizes fun in her classes, not strict dance training, however she does encourage community involvement. She and her students dance a few times a year for the Milwaukie community, including donating an “Evening of Belly Dance” to the annual auction for the St. Francis Dining Hall. Of course the bidders need to see what they’ll be getting in this package, so the dancers twirl and entertain during the auction itself as well. The winning bidder gets to bring six friends and spend the evening learning dance moves, dressing in costume, and enjoying snacks and drinks.
Footwork Dance Studio has been in Milwaukie for 35 years, and in its current location for eight. They have an excellent website with information on class descriptions, schedules, and any other questions you may have.
Footwork Dance Studio
16660 SE McLoughlin Blvd
Milwaukie, OR 97267
www.footworkdance.com
503-652-1242
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My second piece is a book review from a fresh new author. We originally connected on Twitter, where she asked me to review her first book. I warned her that I hadn’t written a book review since college, but that I would do my best to honestly evaluate her story. It is a nonfiction piece about her upbringing in Detroit. I will leave the Amazon link here for you to check her book out in more detail. You can also follow her on Twitter @janachantel. Presenting my review of Into My Mind by Jana` Chantel…
With a fascinating true story that sears into the reader’s heart, Jana` Chantel presents the details of her tumultuous childhood in Detroit, which are humbly told with the raw language of a woman whose memory of a violent upbringing is still quite fresh in her mind. This book has a bit of everything one would expect from a young woman—truly an adolescent in real-time—living the hard life in a broken Detroit: absent father, gunshot wounds, drug dealing, bad romance, the whole gamut. Throughout the book, Jana` strives to find a bit of normalcy in her chaos. She begins by recalling the death of her mother, who was murdered in cold blood when Jana` was just a year old, and, through her young adult years, the drama continued. Her father, too, met a harsh ending. Jana` was shot by her own brother and had her heart broken by a lying thug. The reader can quickly see that her retelling is a painful reminder of her early struggles in life, but also a catharsis.
Into My Mind is a fast read; I finished it in a few short hours. Immediately I felt the need to go back and read it again so I could once more absorb the incredulous details. If you’re looking for a sophisticated, polished memoir, this may not be at the top of your list, but she gives you a heartfelt, in-your-face story, never hiding the blemishes in herself or the other characters. I’m not sure she ever found the normalcy she was searching for, but at the end, you will be left with a sense that Jana` has embraced her own version of normal. Like the city of Detroit itself, Jana` is driven to fight for a better reality.
In Performance as in Life
Last night my bellydance teacher, Claudia, gave the class her rendition of Performance Prep 101, a lot of material to cover in an hour and a half. To aid with this complex presentation, she gave us handouts with 12 Tips for Belly Dance Performance. As I started reading them, I could hear many voices ringing in my head (the good kind), telling me to stand up straight, fake it ‘til you make it, always look people in the eye, etc. The 12 Tips for Belly Dance Performance spoke to me not just of belly dance, but of LIFE—helpful gems that I can (and should) use every day. Following is her list (spelling/grammar edited for my sanity). I encourage you to read it with an open mind, not focused on belly dance or any performance-related subject. Read it and think about your own life. How many of these do you do every day? How many of these should you do every day? I give many thanks to my teacher and friend, Claudia, for engaging my heart and mind with this list.
1. Know what you want to give. What is your gift? Remember this is fun. You love to dance.
2. Warm up a bit and stretch.
3. Check your costume. Check it again. Check your whole look.
4. Get ready to stop the world with your beautiful divine self and extraordinary dance…no negative thoughts. Take a minute or two alone before going on stage.
5. Use relaxing breaths, meditate. Let the nerves you get flow into joy and excitement for your performance…ready…set…go!
6. Take your stage; own it. No matter if your music is slow or fast, your entrance should excite the audience. Your energy and intent can fill a room.
7. Notice your posture. Remember to keep your rib cage lifted, shoulders back, chin lifted. You are larger than life…you are an entertainer.
8. Think about or even plan your entrance and exit. Even as you leave the stage you are still performing…allow the vision to stay alive for your audience.
9. If you are performing for a band, thank them in your closing bows…they worked hard to make you look good…be generous and thank your audience as well.
10. Make a checklist so you have everything you need with you. Your costume bag is your home away from home. Bring all that you might need…everything but the kitchen sink should do.
11. Always have a backup CD just in case. I even carry a random show CD in case I am asked to do an extra show or get called to save a party…super BD to the rescue!
12. Be professional! Treat people and fellow dancers as you would like to be treated. If there are others in the dressing room, remember how your energy affects others.
One last thing to read before you take these words and leave me for the day…a segment of the beautiful poem “A Return to Love” by Marianne Williamson. Claudia put the entire poem at the bottom of her sheet, but I think the first three lines pretty much cover it.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
Real Women
Part I—The Definition
I’ve seen a lot of commentary about what makes a woman a real woman. We view the Dove commercials and the female empowerment websites and we are lifted up by our sisters; the blogosphere is saturated with posts about strong, independent women which tell us how we can cultivate ourselves to the highest level of womanhood. But let’s break it down. When it comes down to the simplest meaning, do breasts and a vagina make someone a real woman? Do real women have curves? How about the ability to bear children? What about transsexuals?
Is the way a woman behaves listed in your definition? Should we be a lady on the street and a freak in the sheets? Follow The Rules or throw the rules out the window? Is a woman who can financially support herself more of a woman than one who depends on a man’s salary to survive? I ask all these questions because they come up time after time, and the answers are ever-changing in a fascinating way.
My own view has changed over the years. I was raised mostly by my mother, who was the frugality queen of the universe. I bitched and moaned about the lack of cool clothes and having giant plastic-framed glasses instead of contacts (“They cost less, and they look fine!”). Until I grew up and realized that my mom raised twins on a poverty-level salary with very little help from my father, I was bitter and annoyed. I thought Why can’t she step it up and be like everyone else’s moms? Those women have jobs and buy their daughters Guess Jeans. Why can’t I have Guess Jeans? I thought she would be happier if she would get a “normal” job so that we could have the things that we wanted and she wouldn’t have to worry day-to-day if she was going to work or not. (Note: My mother was a substitute teacher for most of my childhood. At times she had full-time work, but most of the schools wouldn’t hire her because they had to pay her much more than fresh-out-of-college teachers. She chose to stay in teaching because that was what she loved, and so she could take us traveling in the summers to see our extended family and F(f)riends {A.K.A. Quakers}, which was a very important part of my upbringing, and an education in itself.) She chose to stay true to her values, even when the going got really tough.
What do I think the definition of a real woman is now? Sisters, look in the mirror. It’s you. It’s the business owner. It’s the single mother. It’s even the heroin junkie who stole my mail last week. She might not be in my top 10 right now, but she is still a woman who deserves love like everyone else. I can’t comprehend how anyone on this earth is less of a woman than someone else. I may not be a size 6 or have my dream job (yet). I make mistakes every single day. What comes to my mind, though, if I think of someone who isn’t a real woman, is Barbie. Yes, the doll. If you are a living, breathing female, whether or not you have exactly the right parts or not, if you think and feel as a woman, then you are one. I would hope that you would be a woman with the highest amount of pride imaginable, but we all have those days when we’re not feeling so great. Take them as life lessons and manifest your next amazing experience.
Part II, a love note—“Love, Dove, Glove”—Mr. Big, SATC
With Valentine’s Day coming up, it occurs to me that something many women occasionally do, whether they realize it or not, is consider themselves as missing something if they don’t have a partner in their lives. I read so much girl-power literature about how we as women shouldn’t think about our lives without a partner as a negative thing. We are fabulous just as we are! I wholeheartedly agree. I myself am fucking fabulous,* as everyone should know by now. But…it is in our DNA, specifically as women, to feel the urge to procreate and to have a life partner. So why should we feel ashamed for wanting it? I agree that it shouldn’t take over our lives and emotions 100% of the time, but what is so wrong with desiring something that we were literally made to have? It’s not a weakness to assess this aspect of our lives, it’s just human nature. It is a part of my essence as a woman.
*I just needed a little extra oomph!
Women, however you express yourself and live your life, do it with the knowledge that you are a unique and beautiful feminine spirit. Take ownership of all your womanly emotions and instincts, and don’t feel degraded by them. Be the best person you can be.
With my own personal unique and beautiful feminine energy, I leave you with my absolute favorite poem about being a woman.
Phenomenal Woman
Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I’m telling lies.
I say,
It’s in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.
I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It’s the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.
Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can’t touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can’t see.
I say,
It’s in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.
Now you understand
Just why my head’s not bowed.
I don’t shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It’s in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
‘Cause I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.
Maya Angelou
Quick post on belly dance
I’m still working on my current blog post, but I wanted to give you something to read in the meantime. Hipmix.net is a great website for all things belly dance. It’s got shopping, articles, advice, videos, and lots of links for belly dance resources. I spotted this great article today and wanted to share.
Feeling the inspiration to go pro with your belly dancing? Take a look at this helpful article. It’s got great tips for what to do before you start building your business. Yes, ladies, if you are being paid for your art, you are a business-woman, and should think from that perspective before you perform your first gig. Read on for more information. Get to know the practical side of belly dance.
http://www.hipmix.net/hip-to-know-article.php?pid=45#.Tywe8loosDc.facebook
Belly Dance Soul Fire
The ladies of BDSF
Recently, I wrote an article that was published in Jareeda Magazine for their “troupe extravaganza” issue. I thought I would share it here with you. For more great articles, check out Jareeda for yourself! If you’re in the Portland area, be sure to catch these beautiful dancers at a show near you. They can often be seen collaborating with other dancers in town in shows such as Salon L’Orient at the Fez Ballroom. Later in 2012 they hope to take their Dance N.O.W. show on a Pacific NW tour. Check their website for more details.
Belly Dance Soulfire is an undeniable example of a troupe success story. I’ve followed them through every incarnation, through member changes and name changes. I’ve watched them grow from a group of individual dancers to a collective of passionate belly dance power. Their goal is to show the world that it is okay, and in fact a wonderful thing, to explore what it means to break the mold of traditional belly dancing while still honoring its roots, and that no one needs permission to create a new definition of dance fusion. Belly Dance Soulfire believes that performance art is always shifting, constantly making room for new ideas. Their juicy and—dare I say—tantalizing choreography stems from years of diverse experiences of four unique women. I know first-hand how palpable their synchronicity is, and not just technically. It is easy to see the loving energy flow through each performance.
My own fixation with belly dance started eight years ago. My first dance mentor and an original member of Belly Dance Soulfire, Yemaya, who has since relocated, taught me a lot about dance theory, basics, and the culture of belly dance. I saw performing as a unique and beautiful expression of an individual’s passion for an ancient dance form. When she joined a troupe which today is called Belly Dance Soulfire, I didn’t completely understand the reasons. I had come to think of cabaret belly dance as a solo dance, and saw tribal as a group one. So why did Yemaya need to join this troupe when she was a wonderful solo dancer? Watching the group mature and hearing Yemaya talk about the experience, I learned that a troupe is far more than women getting together to dance in unison. A troupe is made up of sisters in dance, who grow together, support each other, and who develop a loving unity that is meant to be shared with an audience.
The group has become an illustration of diversity in every sense of the word. Not only do they each come from very a different background, it has also been noted more than once that there are a variety of body types in the troupe. The four women of Belly Dance Soulfire use this advantage to fuel a movement of body love and acceptance. They encourage all women who feel a connection with the dance to grasp that feeling and cultivate it to their full potential, regardless of society’s “standards.”
The four dancers of Belly Dance Soulfire are each dynamic solo dancers in their own right. Sedona, the founder, creative director, and co-choreographer, had been dancing her whole life before she discovered belly dance. This dance opened a world to her that she instantly felt she was meant to be in. Relatively early in her belly dance career, she decided she wanted to form a troupe of experienced dancers that would become a celebration of all types of women coming together in dance.
Claudia, also an original member and co-choreographer, has been known in Portland as a dynamic and fiery dancer for years. She was already an established dancer and instructor performing regularly at area restaurants and shows when she and Sedona connected. Her 13 years of dance experience has made her a major contributor to the troupe’s bold choreographies. Soulfire gave her a chance to express herself beyond the constraints of the cabaret style that was so in demand in traditional Middle Eastern venues.
Before joining Belly Dance Soulfire, Shara was known for her energetic samba-belly dance fusion in North Carolina, called Sambali. She moved to Portland for a marketing job. Soon after, she was laid off, and in the aftermath realized she was meant to follow her true love of dance full time. I met her in her first session of classes in Portland and instantly liked her. I knew the ladies of Belly Dance Soulfire would be drawn to her too, so I invited her to a show they were putting on…and the rest is history!
Karolina was brought into Belly Dance Soulfire temporarily from California to bring some extra spice to the audition for summer TV show “America’s Got Talent.” The strategy was a success! They made it to Vegas and were complimented on their style, flair, and diversity. She fit in so well that she moved to Portland to stay with the group. Karolina brings a distinctive flair to the troupe with her signature trumpet belly dance and Vaudevillian sass.
Belly Dance Soulfire has quickly become a staple of the Portland belly dance community, joining forces with several other dancers to put on amazing performances and to show everyone that there should not be separation in belly dance because of difference in style; unity is the key to success. Making a bold statement in 2011 with their Dance N.O.W. (Not One Way) production, they emboldened women to reach further into their hearts and break boundaries, asking other groups to join them in an act of faith that their followers would connect with the other troupes as well.
Belly Dance Soulfire is truly a fantastic model of charismatic and ambitious dancers working incredibly hard to ensure the continuation and permanence of this ancient art form. With their goals to spread the power and knowledge of belly dance to all, I know Portland and beyond will see a lot more from Belly Dance Soulfire in the coming years, because these women really do have Soul Fire!
Music Soul Food
This man likes booty!
Quick—give me one song that has the ability to raise you to your highest high, your most miserable low, or the ultimate romantic mood. Music is so influential. I really admire artists who have the ability to impact me so strongly that a song can stay with me for years after I initially hear it. I have created a list of the songs that speak to me most powerfully, and I want to share them with you today. Hopefully at least one of them will spark something in your heart.
{High Energy, Dance Your Heart Out Music} Back That Ass Up—Juvenile, Lil Wayne, Mannie Fresh: This song has a couple things going for it. First of all, growing up I had what anyone would consider a big butt, and unfortunately, it was before JLo made it cool. Do you remember that song by Sir Mix-A-Lot? You know the one. If I had a nickel for how many times I had to hear, “Oh. My. God. Look at Becky’s butt! It is SO BIG!” I’d have at least a dollar fifty. My precious backside was openly condemned by immature middle and high school kids until I went to college, where there were lots of people with open minds and an appreciation for big booties. My freshman year, “Back That Ass Up” came out. It completely blew my mind. That song made me feel like having a curvaceous body was a good thing for the first time in my life. Say what you will about the seemingly trivial nature of the song, but it made me feel like great. Whenever I heard the first notes, a barrage of people would crush onto the dance floor for a chance to show off their own oversized booties, and mine was in the running for the number one big booty. For a girl-not-quite-a-woman who had had conflicting feelings about her body all of her life, this was a breath of fresh air.
It also had a lot of influence concerning my lifelong crush on Lil Wayne, but I really don’t think we should delve into that too deeply.
{Über Romantic} Anytime—Brian McKnight: This song isn’t tied to any one person or memory, but the goosebumps it gives me every time I hear it are tangible. The effect is potent, and very swoon-able. And let’s face it, Brian McKnight is yummy.
{Can’t Understand the Words but Still Moves Me} Seni Sevdi Geönlüm Yine Sevecek—John Bilezikjian: I’ve had the pleasure hearing this artist in person, which makes it so much more powerful. I can’t understand what he is singing about, but it doesn’t matter; I feel it. That is the kind of effect every artist wants to be able to have on their audience.
{Laugh Out Loud} Knock Em Out—Lily Allen: This is one of those songs that tell a story of regular people in situations most people can relate to. This one highlights the awkward position of being hit on by a total loser. But that’s never happened to you, right?
{Girl Power} S&M—Rihanna: That’s right—we ladies can be just as naughty as you boys. I signed up for a Groupon at Vega Dance Lab last year, and as luck would have it, this was the first song I danced to there. Wow. Talk about girl power. Since I started bellydancing, I have realized the power of my feminine wiles, but Rihanna puts a whole new spin on it. In bellydancing I am coy. With S&M it’s all out there, whether you like it or not.
{Escapism} Amame o Dejame—Kevin Ceballo: It was a steamy night in Puerto Rico, where I was on vacation with my parents, who didn’t want me mingling with the natives. Wait, wait! That’s not right. It was 2004 in Portland, Oregon. The air was balmy with the sweat of dancers. The lights were flashing across the crowded wooden dance floor. The music was tropical and the beats were constant and foreign. A handsome man approached me with a smile and his hand extended. I froze. We had just met moments ago. His name was Ricardo. To call him a tall drink of water would be an understatement. He was 6’4” and towered over me. He was inviting me to salsa dance with him. I was terrified of the intimacy of it, and a little confused at how exactly we were supposed to dance together—the physics didn’t seem right (I’m 5’1”)—but he didn’t look at all concerned. Soon I was twirling all over the dance floor. It seemed he was carrying me more than I was actually dancing, but I was doing it! I was salsa dancing! I love everything about this dance: the music, the movement, the romance. All of it takes me away from any worries or cares.
Isn’t it amazing how music can manipulate your feelings…make you forget…create a dream-world…administer pangs of emotion you didn’t know you were having? It’s the magic of it. I want to thank all of the artists out there who dare to put their gift out into the universe. It is much appreciated. Love, a fellow artist.
Ye Olde New Year’s Resolutions!
This year I have a very specific goal. Yes, it is to lose weight. Yeah, yeah, join the crowd! Entering my thirties has not helped my body get any slimmer, even though I’ve picked up running this past year. Throughout 2011, I’ve watched certain parts of my body tone up, and that has been amazing, but I am having so much trouble losing the fat! Part of this is lack of self-control, part of it is genetics, and part of it is trying to shake off the customs of my pesky upbringing.
I was raised with a “You will NOT leave the table until you finish everything on your plate!” mentality that was so typically shoved upon Generation X youth. These were the years of “There are children starving in Africa (or China)!!” “Don’t you want to join the Clean Plate Club with your sister??” It was the Cold War era. We were lucky to have food on our plates! Think late eighties, early nineties.
Tell me if you remember a scenario like this: My sister, my mother, and I sit down to dinner. It’s spaghetti night. Spaghetti with broccoli mixed in, if you can believe that. My mother didn’t try to hide it, either, by chopping it up really small. Nope, she threw thumb sized pieces of broccoli in the sauce without a second thought.
Then my mother does the unthinkable: adds a serving of green beans alongside the spaghetti. Excuuuse me? “Mom. I am not going to eat this. There is broccoli in this spaghetti. Can’t we have something else with this? Garlic bread? Like normal people??”
“You will eat what I give you! And you will sit there until you do! (There are children starving…)” This was also a time to mention the Clean Plate Club, but in our house, there was no reward like dessert. Your reward was getting up from the table. That’s it. My mom was a hard ass. She would call the bluff of any child in her house, whether she birthed them or not. If a friend dared not finish their meal, they too would feel the wrath of Ginger.
Add to that both of my parents’ penchants for eating enormous (albeit healthy) quantities of food, plus the disadvantage of being raised in the Midwest, where food availability was high, but healthy food availability was not.
Did I mention I am a twin? Everything naughty that managed to pass through mom’s Health Food Filter into the house would be fought over to the death. By the time Sarah and I were old enough to go buy our own junk food, it was ON. We went nuts. Chocolate covered ones. Plus Pringles, Swedish Red Fish, Nutter Butters, Kit Kats, Cheese Balls…you get the picture. Mom would leave us for hours to our own devices while she volunteered at the library bookstore. We could walk to Pick ‘N Save and buy crap to our heart’s content. Then we’d walk to the underpass, climb all the way up to right under the highway, and eat. We ballooned in our adolescence, which followed both of us through high school and college.
To sum up: I am a food hoarder and sometimes I still eat like I weigh 200 pounds, when in reality I am much smaller and don’t need that much food. When I moved to Portland I started working at a weight loss center and lost 60 pounds in six months. I learned how to eat correctly, but as is the case for many, slowly over the next seven years, my weight crept up again.
It has been interesting (Really!) seeing the changes in my body and how it carries the weight. Since I started running regularly, I can tell which body parts are most affected positively: my rib cage has shrunk enough that I have had to go a bra size smaller. My legs are much stronger now, and the fat around my knees has visibly diminished. What hasn’t changed is the fat that my mama gave me: the belly. Now, I know that belly dancers need a belly, but it doesn’t need to be this big!! So my goal, specifically, is to get rid of the fat that has no beneficial purpose.
So, suggestions and advice needed. Food no-no’s or good recipes, what to eat before the big race, what kind of workouts I should be doing…I’ll take it all. I love positive reinforcement so any shout-outs are welcome!
2011 in review
See my stats for last year’s blog. I thought it was kind of fun to read. 
Here’s an excerpt:
A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 1,400 times in 2011. If it were a cable car, it would take about 23 trips to carry that many people.
The Yin and Yang – Solstice Shedding and Goal Setting
Understand that the journey is as important as the destination. Enjoy every moment, and live life fully. This is zen.
Solstice and the New Year are turning points of each year. It is a time to shed the unwanted items in our lives, whether those are bad habits or material addictions. It is also traditionally a time to let new light in; some people set exercise goals or promise to create more structured sleep or work habits. My brain knows that I can start fresh any time I want, but there is something about the collective energy of the world’s people looking at life with new eyes, pumping up the positivity, that it makes me want to join in!
I have been searching the internet and asking my friends for their own personal holiday rituals. The following warm and fuzzy ritual was created by Tess Whitehurst, west coast author of two books on Feng Shui (edited for brevity).
Thinking back on 2011…
1. List 5 personal victories – big or small – that you experienced. (Examples: I got physically stronger, I recycled more, I created more art…)
2. List 5 precious, priceless gifts that you received from others or from the Universe. (Examples: my trip to Hawaii, spending time with my partner, an afternoon vision of sunlight dancing on the lake…)
3. List 5 challenges that you faced and the valuable lessons you learned from them. (Example: I faced the death of my beloved pet/I learned how to appreciate the present moment and love my still-living family and companions deeply, to get in touch with my emotions, and how to be strong in a crisis.) The purpose of this one is to notice the blessings hidden within seeming challenges so that we can release our fears about the future and be fully open to all the ways that the universe showers blessings upon us.
4. Set a timer for 2 minutes, and during that time brainstorm as many things as possible that you are grateful for in your life. It doesn’t matter how small or how large. (Examples: the amount of money I do have, the roof over my head, my cozy slippers, the food in my cupboard, my friends, my family, my opportunities, my talents, laughter, books, poetry, the sun, the moon, the Star Wars trilogy…)
Now, put on some relaxing music, light a candle and perhaps some incense, and sit comfortably with your spine straight. Place your right hand over your heart and your left hand over it. Close your eyes, and conjure up all the gratitude you possibly can. Marvel at your good fortune, and at the good fortune you experienced in 2010. Relax into this feeling.
When this feels complete, remove your hands from your heart and open them up to the sky, arms angling out, palms facing up. With your eyes still closed, slightly tilt your head up so that your face is gently angled toward the sky. This is a gesture of welcoming in even greater blessings for the year ahead. Visualize very bright golden/white/rainbow light streaming down from above. Receive it gratefully and with an open heart. Let it swirl around you and surround you.
If you are interested in a different kind of exercise to lead you into self-examination, here is one I swiped from a Taoist blog written by Pedram Shojai (edited for brevity), who gives an up-front and somewhat sardonic offering of reflections and resolution queries.
1- Have you closed out your 2011 projects? What things do you not want to carry into 2012? What do you need to finish, schedule in, or simply drop in order to maintain your sanity? How important is it? WHY are you doing it and does it serve you/your family?
2- Have you spent time telling the people you care for that you love them? It doesn’t take long…do it now.
3- Have you slowed down and caught up on your sleep? If not, to bed early.
4- Do you know what you want the next year to look like? If not, read this page on GONGS- http://taoistpath.com/resources/gong/
5- Have you meditated on where you are in life and sifted through the noise to ask the important question of’ “Who am I?” If not, you’re wasting your time being told who to be by the media…snap out of it.
6- Have you taken on some life/health enhancing practices that you will do the next year? Yoga, Tai Chi, Qi Gong, hiking…just get out there and start living life like you mean it.
7- Did you spent enough time in nature this year? What are your plans to integrate more contact with nature for 2012? Our lack of contact with nature is directly connected to our willingness to look away while others destroy it.
8- Have you closed out energies that no longer serve you? Toxic “friends”, happy hour instead of the gym, the unspoken feud you are having with your spouse…whatever it is that is taking up your mental bandwidth and drawing down your energy…isn’t NOW a good time to drop that crap and get on with living a fully empowered life? You sure ain’t getting any younger and it’s funny how those things don’t “go away” on their own. Make 2012 about moving through those issues and coming whole.
These practices help us reflect on the year—relishing in the joys of the last 365 days, facing what has continued to give us pain all year long—as well as aid us in looking forward to changing what doesn’t work. It’s not the easiest task, but I really do feel there is strength in numbers, which is why I encourage you to embrace the solstice and New Year with intention, knowing your brothers and sisters are with you, in the flesh, or in spirit. In that spirit, I’m going to share some of my own short responses from the Taoist checklist.
1- Have you closed out your 2011 projects?
For the most part, yes. Most of my projects are continuing into the New Year, but here are some examples: I have accomplished my goal of becoming a true writer by starting my blog and being published in a magazine. As for my running, I have kept up my training, and blown past my goal of running a 10k by the end of the year (6.2 miles). I have several other (more personal) goals that I will continue to work on in the New Year.
2- Have you spent time telling the people you care for that you love them?
Absolutely. It is one of the most important things to me.
3- Have you slowed down and caught up on your sleep?
I struggle with this daily. It is hard to give up a lively social escapade, but more often than not, my body forces me to slow down, whether I like it or not.
4- Do you know what you want the next year to look like?
I know I want light, love, and laughter!
5- Have you meditated on where you are in life and sifted through the noise to ask the important question of’ “Who am I?”
I have not done this enough this past year. It is a work in progress. The refining of Who I Am is definitely a goal for next year.
6- Have you taken on some life/health enhancing practices that you will do the next year?
I will continue and improve on my current regimen. As of today I am pretty satisfied with my physical exercise, but my life-enhancing exercises could use some work.
7- Did you spent enough time in nature this year?
YES! I plan on doing the same next year. J
8- Have you closed out energies that no longer serve you?
This is my biggest challenge in life. I have trouble letting things go. This is my main goal in 2012.
What we do with our resolutions after we make them is up to us as individuals. I challenge you to keep your resolutions for 2012. I promise I will support you, and try to check in once in a while to make sure you are following through! Make them good ones that really mean something to you and to the earth. In the words of my friend Chrissy, “Let’s do this!”
I am grateful for YOU and your energy, which always makes me smile and gives me even more reasons to write this blog. Thank you for embracing my words.
Great Expectations
Last night I was feeling stiffed in the friend department by one particular person. I have been trying to manifest a stronger relationship with her, and I felt disappointed that she hadn’t given me the quality time that I was expecting. I’m not ashamed to say I expect a certain amount of attention from my close pals, and I felt like I had been giving generously and had not gotten enough in return. I do my best to balance my friends and family in this busy world, (mostly) remembering to cheer them on when they have a big interview or event, comforting them when they are down, and sending a text their way when I think they just need a little extra boost. I try to give this love unconditionally, I really do, but there is no such thing as a one-sided friendship. It is circular.
Right after I had hit my lowest emotional point of the evening, I decided to take a breather and draw myself a soothing bath. Then, two things happened. The Universe truly does listen! First, that same friend called me. It was bizarre how quickly the Universe responded. We had a wonderful talk, and I hung up feeling like I was not as heated about the whole thing anymore. It hadn’t worked out the way I had wanted, but her intentions were honorable. The other thing was that I stumbled up on this article on Twitter by Danielle LaPorte, who has a website called White Hot Truth: A prayer for expectation addicts
It stopped me in my tracks. I have been talking all this jazz about manifestation to you all year, but this article shed a whole new (and kind of tricky) light on it. What does it say about manifesting my dreams? This lady says I have to live in the Now. So I should quit thinking about the future? No. Danielle suggests we put our manifestations out into the Universe, and then just let them go—buh bye. We can be in the moment again. Instead of simply rattling out my list of attributes for my dream man, and then sitting back with my hands clasped behind my head, waiting impatiently, I am supposed to do what, now? As Danielle puts it: Show up. Shine. Let it go.
The point is not to stop me from yearning for these things which I try to manifest. Well, maybe it is, just a little…but can anyone really do that 100% of the time? “I want my Ooopma Looompa right NOW!” is used outside of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory for a reason. It is human to want to see instant results, or get the mail-in rebate without the wait. There is nothing wrong with wanting. The point, as I am interpreting it, is to consider whatever the Universe will send me in the future as an unexpected gift. It is better to work with what the Universe has given me already and make the best out of it by appreciating it daily, and to go the distance with what I have previously been given. Don’t let the future distract you from enjoying what is in front of you at this moment.
So, make the list (Please do make the list! The Universe can’t give you a gift card; it needs to know what you want!), check it twice, and then return to your regularly scheduled programming.
“All I want for Christmas is…”
