Guess what, guys? I have been cleared to run!
I’m not completely out of the woods yet. I’ve still got quite a bit of work to do to get back to normal. I’m allowed to do short, slow runs. Baby steps. There will be a lot of form improvement and core strengthening necessary in addition to the actual running. I won’t be signing up for a half marathon any time soon, but I’m just relieved that I can start the process. SO, WOOHOO!
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I wrote that about a week ago. I still have not run. Apparently, getting back to running is not simply about putting on the shoes and heading out the door. It takes a level of preparedness that I haven’t needed since I first began running three years ago.
Normally, there are days when I’m tired and I don’t want to go, but 90% of the time I am able to suck it up and go a mile or two at the very least. Since the car accident, I get fatigued very easily, and need much more sleep than is normal for me. This fatigue has been the #1 reason I haven’t had the chance to get out there, and it’s very disheartening. Newer still is a nagging fear that because it has been so long, I’ll have lost my drive for it altogether.
Realistically I don’t think this will happen; every time I see someone running outside, I feel this pulsing in my heart and a longing to be in that person’s shoes. The difference between wanting to run and actually tying my shoelaces, though, is the big difference.
I won’t push it. Eventually I’ll get there. I promised myself I would take it slow through this process of healing, and I am keeping that promise. I refuse to shame myself into thinking I’m being lazy or not working hard enough. When it’s time, I’ll know. I recognize that it will feel exciting and daunting at the same time. I may run a mile; I may be able to run three. No matter what the timing, how far the distance, it will be the most important step of the long route back to my running goals.